On the Brink
written by destinyawakened
Jim Gordon considered himself lucky. Far luckier than the rest of the Gotham. He could have been in his apartment, on the fifth floor, trapped under piles and piles of rubble and cement blocks. But he wasn't; no, he had been with Bruce Wayne, at Wayne Manor (of all places), in the billionaire's bed, when the first shake occurred. It had jolted Bruce from his sleep, which woke Gordon in the process. The younger, more agile man, had pulled Gordon from the bed and shoved him between the door frame, while finding another doorway for himself to stand under. It all had happened so quickly, that Gordon couldn't even account for the two hours after it happened. He just knew that by the next morning Wayne Manor was nothing but rubble, and Alfred, Bruce and himself stood overlooking the – once again – ruined home.
Worse, though, was when all three of them had started for the main streets of Gotham, over looking the city, to find that she was in flames. Gordon couldn't recall his initial reaction, or even Alfred's, but he would always remember the look on Bruce's face, it was as if someone had stabbed him in the gut and continued to twist it. Gotham had been the younger man's home for his whole life, and Gordon's for nearly thirty years now. It was their city. And Batman's. He remembered wondering what the vigilante had been doing at that moment, if he had been in the city, if he had been crushed in a building while attempting to stop a robbery. Or if he had been watching the city burn in the aftermath just as the three of them were.
He never did find out.
-----
As the first month went by Gordon didn't think much of not seeing Batman. It was possible the vigilante had his own troubles from the quake he had to take care of before he could help a city lost to wreckage. In fact, he was sure of it. But it didn't make him feel any better not to hear from the man, to at least know he was alright – that the earthquake hadn't taken him out with the rest of the city. Lord knew Gordon needed him. The city needed him, too.
But he began to lose faith and hope as ninety days rolled by and no one had heard from Batman, let alone catch a glimpse of him. Gordon knew he might just have to move on and not think about the vigilante. He had formed a small group of police officers – those that had not fled the city when given the change – in an attempt reclaim what was theirs from the rioters and gangs that had taken over Gotham just days after the catastrophe. It meant long days, late nights, and early mornings just to get ahead of everyone else, and sometimes Gordon felt it was almost useless to continue. However, he only wished once that he had left Gotham when he had been given the chance.
At least he had Bruce...
... For a while anyway.
Lucius Fox, Bruce's hired CEO for Wayne Enterprises, and quite possibly every other Wayne Corporation he had his name on, called the billionaire away to help with dealings having to do with getting Gotham City the help and reconstruction everyone was waiting for. The city needed it, so Gordon had to swallow his pride, and his lonesomeness, for bettering of the city he'd worked over twenty years to clean-up.
Business as usual.
Except it wasn't usual. Everything was different now. The government shunned Gotham City. There were no rules now – no laws.
Just No Man's Land.
-------
Bruce Wayne kept a lot of secrets in his life, aspects of his childhood, things he feared, the reasons he did things; but he never expected he would continue to keep his biggest secret from Jim Gordon, especially after they started a relationship together over a year ago. Bruce found he never got around to telling the police commissioner, mostly because the times he wanted to never felt right.
Not that the earthquake that hit Gotham was the best time to tell him either.
So, he didn't.
But that, too, made his heart feel tight with regret.
He watched for nearly three months as Jim waited out on the crumbled rooftop of MCU, next to a non-working batsignal, waiting. Bruce never approached him during this time, the few minutes he knew Jim needed to at least have a little hope. How could he tell the older man now that Batman had been with him the whole time, even shared a bed with him on several occasions?
He couldn't. He let Jim go on believing that Batman had abandoned them – Gotham. Bruce would be lying if he said it didn't shatter him; the more he kept it from Jim the more he felt he was letting him down in more ways than one.
And Batman not being around wasn't necessarily because Bruce didn't want him to be, it was just that he had no way of getting to the batcave. There was no entrance, as it had been destroyed when the quake hit. His suit, the Tumbler, gadgets... everything, had been down there. It would take him weeks, even months, to pick through it alone. He didn't have weeks or months to dedicate to it without looking suspicious. Jim counted on him to be at his side on all their expeditions to somehow reclaim Gotham.
But an opportunity presented itself for Bruce to help Gotham another way. Lucius had been able to get one of the Wayne Enterprises helicopters over the city long enough – without being shot down – to let Bruce know that he had a meeting at Washington DC concerning the outcome of Gotham City; he insisted that Bruce Wayne be there to defend the city. If anyone was going to convince anyone, it was going to be Gotham's Prince. Bruce agreed.
Jim understood, even though he looked broken when Bruce told him; not let down, just a little lost, as if he had been holding onto Bruce for that last spark of hope, as if he were the only good thing left in a ruined city. But Bruce knew Jim Gordon was a stronger person than that. The earthquake had taken so many by surprise and left them so distraught that everyone, even Jim, didn't know how to handle themselves. But Bruce had watched the commissioner for three months, and even though he started out rocky and unsure, Jim slowly climbed his way up the confidence scale, taking his born leadership abilities, and forming a small group of surviving police officers to patrol the city and bring a little order. The older man definitely did not need Bruce there to get the job done. It helped in lessening his regret as he flew away from Gotham...
... Bruce's last thought as he watched the small spec of Gotham become smaller and smaller was of Arkham Asylum and how strange that no one had seen or heard from any of the patients. He and Jim had done the patrol a few week prior, and not one person was left at Arkham. It meant that Bruce was ultimately leaving a small surviving group of people to defend themselves from hundreds of mad men. Jim didn't seem too worried at the time... or at least he didn't show it.
Bruce started to regret leaving Gotham City – leaving Jim.. But, with No Man's Land, there was no room for regret.
------
Though there had been sightings of the Joker and Doctor Crane, who had both been locked away in Arkham, no one actually ever had a run in with either of them. Gordon couldn't help but feel the Joker was keeping a low profile because there was nothing left to create chaos with; nothing left to destroy. And Crane, well Gordon just assumed without materials to make his drugs and people to sell it to, he was pretty much up a creek without a paddle; probably left the city the minute his feet touched the rubble-littered ground of Gotham. Gordon knew that should have meant something, if even the criminals didn't want to stay in a forgotten, torn down shell of a city.
He still had hope, which was saying a lot, since the rest of his team he pulled together to keep Gotham grounded was beginning to falter. He had his closest team still backing him, though: Renee Montoya, Harvey Bullock, Sarah Essen, and Gerard Stephens. He even had Alfred, who took to caring for everyone, especially since he had extensive first aid training from his time spent in the military. Gordon found having Alfred around much more useful than he had originally thought; he thanked God for the small sacrifice Bruce took going without his butler (even though Gordon was sure Alfred was more of a father figure and best friend to Bruce than his actual butler).
The days seemed to bleed into each other for the first few days of winter, as the sun set early and there hadn't been a lot of time during the day to get much done. At least they had been able to over turn many of the formed gangs, often resulting in many of them joining up with Gordon's group, which was the smart thing to do, since the more people were, the less likely another street gang would approach.
By the time day one-hundred and twenty rolled along since the earthquake, Gordon was sure he was making progress in uniting the city...
... At least, until the fresh food began to run sparse. People began to turn on each other and fight over the last bits of good food left in the city. Gordon began to wonder how much longer he could withstand. But he would, because he loved this city and fought too long and too hard for justice to give in now.
------
Lucius had told Bruce he would take care of the rest, that he should try to get back and do what he could for Gotham. No one expected the billionaire to go back to Gotham with the shambles it was in. So he wouldn't. Jim would understand, in the end, why Bruce couldn't come back right away. He was sure seeing Batman would lift Jim's spirits anyway, at least give him a renewed sense of hope. But first he had to find a way back into the cave under Wayne Manor. He was sure, since the earth had now settled, he would be able to find a way in, at least get to the suit and a few items that would come in handy.
-------
Gordon had given up on Batman. He had done so the minute day the five month mark hit. He had held on to the notion that Batman was out there, watching as he always did before the city took a fall, keeping track of them, being the silent guardian he was; but that all changed when their camp was raided by a gang of thieves, who stole the minimal amount of food they had stored, tried to rape the women, and nearly killed Stephens and Bullock in the process. Somehow they got out otherwise unscathed, though Essen and Montoya were more than a little shaken.
Gordon immediately blamed Batman. Had he been there, had he never left the city (which he assumed he had) then it would never have happened. Never. Gordon hated to feel bitter towards someone he once considered to be quite a good friend, but his trust and faith in the man had dwindled and was now completely obliterated.
He hoped Batman never returned.
-------
Bruce had been watching for nearly three weeks. It was now seven months into the No Man's Land, and he had yet to hear from Lucius, to hear if the government was overturning its ban on Gotham – if his city could live again. But, for now he would do what he could to bring order back to the streets, an order he thought Jim had had under control. It seemed the longer people went unwashed, hungry, and desperate, the more they became corrupt. Bruce couldn't blame them; none of these people knew how to live or survive with minimal, and they had just been thrown into this with no warnings. He didn't allow any of that to excuse the killings a lot seemed to be doing, just for a little bit of food. He quickly took care of that, at least scare some sense into them, let them know that Batman was, indeed, back in in Gotham City – No Man's Land – and was not taking kindly to anyone not obeying the laws.
Some unfortunate street dwellers tried to reason with him, that the laws did not uphold in No Man's Land, because they were outside the United States now; so naturally they must not have to. Of course, Batman merely told them it was his city now, and the people would start doing as he said.
At least it worked. At least people were running scared and watching their backs. If not, Batman would be there, forcing them to abide. He was getting somewhere, and so far he hadn't needed to do anything too extreme.
That's when he wondered where Jim was.
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There had been talk, but that's all Gordon took it for. He never once believed the incoherent ramblings of some teenaged kid who seemed delusional from lack of nourishment. Batman. The kid had said the name with a stutter, eyes wide and unsure. Gordon would was pretty sure the boy had just been seeing shadows – Batman didn't live in Gotham City anymore.
“But what if he is back? What if he's come to help us?” Montoya said. She watched as Alfred lead the boy to the other room to be treated what a few wounds he had gotten from a knife fight.
“We've gotten along just fine without him, haven't we?” Gordon growled. He was staring her down now, fists at his sides, balled up in a fit of anger he was trying to hold back. “Even if he is back, we don't need him.”
Montoya only nodded. She learned long ago not to argue with the commissioner, especially when it came to Batman. There was no room to be right with a stubborn cop. She patted him on the shoulder and left.
Gordon knew, deep down, that they did need Batman; everything was spiraling out of control and people were becoming fierce and possessive of their food, the property they squatted on – everything. Everyone was becoming greedier. It was turning into an “every man for himself” extravaganza.
Jim Gordon found himself envying Bruce Wayne for being away from the hell hole he was still calling home. He felt the yearning in his heart and wished more than anything Bruce was succeeding in convincing the government that Gotham was worth the effort.
Where are you Bruce?
-------
Batman watched Jim Gordon walk the back of Crime Alley, keeping a close eye on the older man, just in case. Jim looked exhausted, and Bruce could tell he hadn't had a restful nights sleep in probably weeks, if not longer. He really wanted to place a hand on the older man's shoulder, tell him everything would be fine... that Batman hadn't left, he just couldn't get there right away. But Jim was also looking very angry, far angrier than Bruce had seen him in a long time. Renee had told Batman that Jim felt betrayed and didn't feel they needed Batman's help after all. The words had stung to hear, but he couldn't blame the commissioner for feeling that way.
Bruce knew he should have told him long ago. It would be harder now, but he knew he'd have to do it. One way or another, Jim would just have to understand. And if he didn't, and Bruce knew he might just risk their relationship. He'd have to risk it. There was no looking back.
-------
Gordon had gone down Crime Alley in search for a kid who had run away from his mother just hours before. She was worried about him and Gordon had agreed to go look for him. He knew it wasn't the best idea, especially alone – especially at eleven at night. There wasn't much choice now and he secretly hoped he didn't run into any trouble tonight. He was alone, armed with only his hand gun, and even that only had one bullet. Supplies were short.
“Kenny!” Gordon called. He kept his voice level, not wanting to startle the boy if he did happen to come across him. “Your mother is very worried, son. Why don't you come back to the shelter?” His hand jumped to the gun at his hip holster when he saw movement behind him, a shadow larger than an eight year old boy's would be. He clicked the safety off the gun, bringing it up in front of him, approaching the figure in front of him.
Without electricity it was hard to see much of anything except what the moonlight provided, but Gordon didn't need to see the figure to know who it was. He stepped a little closer and shoved the barrel of the gun into the man's chest armor, glaring at the now visible whites of Batman's eyes.
“You won't shoot me,” Batman growled. Gordon half expected the gun to be slapped out of hands, but the vigilante did nothing.
“How do you know what I will and won't do?”
“I know you, Jim.”
Gordon felt an anger building in him. He hadn't wanted to see this man again, ever, and now he was having to stare at him down the barrel of a gun, aware that even if he did shoot Batman, it wouldn't be worth it. But that didn't stop Gordon from keeping the gun firmly planted over the man's heart. Batman would know he wasn't backing down. Not now. Not ever.
“No. You don't.” Gordon shoved the gun into the Batman's armor a little further, pushing him backwards just a few steps. “Go back to wherever it was you were hiding. We don't need you here!”
There was a sigh, a breath that came out almost as an inhaled gasp, and Gordon knew he had hit a nerve with Batman – finally broke past the built-up exterior. He could continue and break the man even further, or he could turn away now and leave it at that. He dropped his hand and slid the gun back into the holster, turning on his heels. He took a few steps, but felt a hand on his shoulder, and he instinctively looked back.
“But you need me here,” and this time the words were not from the defined jaw, and thin line of Batman's lips; this time the words came from the tired, listless eyes of Bruce Wayne. He was starting at Gordon – almost ashamed – with his shoulders slumps and hands spread out in front of him in surrender.
Gordon felt his mouth go dry, as if he had been sucking on cotton. His tongue felt thick and heavy in his mouth and all the words he was willing to say flew out of his mind as the shock set in. No, he couldn't do this, not now. He shook his head, waving a hand at Bruce – Batman – and walked away from the alley, taking up a jog back to shelter.
-------
Bruce wasn't sure what he had expected Jim's reaction to be, but it was not anger. Sure, he knew Jim would be a bit aggravated with him for not telling him sooner about his secret... but he at least thought Jim would understand and take the help Bruce was offering. But, he also knew that the commissioner was a very stubborn man, and when you hurt his pride and betrayed his trust, you always paid dearly for it.
Bruce never thought he'd be on the receiving end of Jim Gordon's anger and distrust.
-------
The walk back to the shelter, or what was once MCU, was long and heartbreaking. Gordon took his time finding his way back, forgetting all about the little boy who ran away, sure that once he got hungry enough he'd find his way back to where the food was rationed by Gordon's team. Gordon wasn't worried about it.
He had felt his heartbreak the moment he saw Bruce's eyes stare back at him on the body of Batman. Why had he never known? How was it he never figured it out, with all the clues placed in front of him? The scars, the bruising, the disappearing at the most inopportune times. It was very clear. And Gordon didn't know if he was feeling more betrayed because Bruce didn't tell him sooner, because after the billionaire had seen him waiting for Batman all those nights after the quake and the younger man still didn't tell him. At least it explained where Batman had been. At least he was working to save the city in some way, if not in his normal tendencies.
It still didn't excuse not telling him.
Sure, Gordon never wanted to know Batman's identity, but that was assuming it was someone he didn't actually know in his personal life. Was it that Bruce never trusted him with the secret? Probably, but then that confused him, since Batman always said he trusted the commissioner with his own life. Gordon, was, well, confused. He wanted to be angry with Bruce, but the longer he thought about it, the longer he walked around and let the realization sink in, the less angry he was. Disappointed was more like it.
There wasn't room left for being disappointed in Gotham City. Gordon turned back the way he had come from, back towards Crime Alley. The reasons Bruce had for keeping his Batman secret could wait until Gotham was running smoothly again. Right now, all he wanted was to know things would be fine and to hold Bruce in his arms again.
He had made a lot of sacrifices for the people of the city since the earthquake, he was sure he could allow himself this one simple pleasure.
------
The thought of leaving the alley had crossed his mind, but Bruce had stayed back to watch for the boy that Jim had been looking for. He hadn't expected to see the commissioner turn the corner of the alley, hands in his pockets, looking around nervously. Bruce waited, he wasn't going to jump to conclusion, yet. He watched and waited. Jim moved to where they had met only an hour before, obviously searching for something... or someone? Bruce jumped down, landing softly in a crouch behind Jim.
The older man turned around quickly, but this time without his gun drawn. Bruce noticed his eyes were a little softer this time around. He was smiling at Bruce from under that wiry mustache of his that had grown out quite a bit in the last eight months. Bruce pulled off his gloves and threw them to the ground. He reached out his hands to cup around the older man's face, eyes meeting each other's as if for the first time in years, unexpected and longing. Bruce didn't need words, just the fact that Gordon had come back was enough. More than enough – it was everything.
“Take it off.” Jim demanded, gesturing at the cowl. Bruce unhooked a few clasps, and gently tugged the piece over his head. He dropped it, too, to the ground next to his gloves. Bruce let Jim run his fingers over his jaw, to his cheeks, his ears, through his hair, and then to the back of his head. The commissioner pulled Bruce's face down towards his and kissed him. It wasn't gentle and it was far from neat. Jim had his tongue licked against Bruce's lips, teeth gnashing against his in a needy passion, hands still strummed in Bruce's thick brown hair.
Bruce pulled Jim in a little tighter, as close as he could get him without smashing him against the Kevlar armor. He allowed the other man to control the kiss, to take what he needed from Bruce; it was, after all, the least he could do. He ran a hand up Jim's spine, feeling him buckle at the knees and held him tighter. Jim pulled away from the kiss, eyes on Bruce's. The other man no longer looked angry or disappointed, he looked more needy than anything.
“Jim, I'm sorry. No more secrets. No more lies. From now on, you'll know everything.” And Bruce meant it; there was no reason to lie anymore. The city needed them.
-------
Lucius Fox returned to the city with military helicopters in tow. Gordon watched. It had been eleven months since the quake, and finally Gotham City would be rebuilt. Wayne Corporation was funding many of the projects and the government was going to do what it could to get the rest off the ground. It was a start, a shaky one, but a start nonetheless.
Food was brought in, temporary housing, and military grade prison camp was built to harbor the criminals Batman and what was left of the GCPD had started to round up. Batman never found Doctor Crane, but he did find the Joker, who to their surprise hadn't done anything at all. They threw him in the prison camp anyway, there was no point in risking him ruining everything they had started to rebuild
It would take years, most likely, to bring Gotham back to the way she once was, but Jim Gordon wasn't going any where. He'd given too much of his heart to her to back down now.
~Fin~
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